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Casey Scheld ReviewsGame ReviewsPC Reviews

Deliver or Die! Review

Official Score

Overall - 20%

20%

A top-down Crazy Taxi clone is the stuff nostalgia is made for, doubly so if it references one of Keanu Reeves’ finest moments. However, Deliver or Die! misses the mark in almost every way imaginable, exploding in a fiery blaze that even Michael Bay would be proud of.

User Rating: 2.75 ( 1 votes)

If Keanu Reeves taught us anything in Speed, it’s that those with bombs strapped to their car should floor it. Barty Games’ Deliver or Die! Forces players to contend with this catastrophe, making deliveries without things going boom. Does this title have the need for speed, or is it more of a burnout?

Deliver or Die! Review

Much like SEGA’s Crazy Taxi series, players have a destination and a drop off point. Its top-down view has a number of places players must start and stop at, with the ever-present timer constantly posing a threat. However, this timer has a deadly downside; if it hits zero, your car will explode.

While this may seem like a grave consequence, the main rules are still the same. It’s just a shame that Deliver or Die!’s control scheme is borderline broken. And don’t even get us started on the collisions – hope you brought insurance…

It doesn’t seem so bad at first; W accelerates, A and D turn, and S puts on the brakes and lets you go in reverse. However, your main ride handles more like a boat than a car. There’s absolutely no momentum here; starting from a standstill might as well be the equivalent of a blue-haired grandma in a walker. When players are given 15 seconds from the offset, it can often feel like players are at a disadvantage right from the get-go.

Deliver or Die! Does try to make some consolations for the player to ease this oh-so-heavy burden. For one, players are able to get themselves some added time on the clock when making a successful pickup or delivery. However, there’s little balance here; it’s a flat rate as opposed to something that factors in the distance.

There’s also a number of power-ups that can be picked up along the way. For the lucky players among us, they will be able to stop traffic, reset time, and reset the cars on the road. However, these are all too short lived, with the benefits being lingering more than lasting. It’s just a shame that no balance was brought into these mechanics either.

It’s not like much of this will matter in the long haul though; Deliver or Die!’s map is downright tiny. Fences block some of the more major routes, and players will be able to see everything it has to offer sooner rather than later. It’s a shame too; there’s plenty of potential, but the drab urban sprawl lacks any sort of personality. The title was made with the Unity engine, and it appears that only the most basic of assets were used.

To keep players going in Deliver or Die!, there’s a rudimentary leaderboard and unlockable skins. However, this is one title where what you see is what you get – it’s as deep as a puddle.

A top-down Crazy Taxi clone is the stuff nostalgia is made for, doubly so if it references one of Keanu Reeves’ finest moments. However, Deliver or Die! misses the mark in almost every way imaginable, exploding in a fiery blaze that even Michael Bay would be proud of.

This review of Deliver or Die! was done on the PC. The game was purchased digitally.
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Casey Scheld

Drawn to the underground side of gaming, Casey helps the lesser known heroes of video games. If you’ve never heard of it, he’s mastered it.
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