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Casey Scheld ReviewsGame ReviewsPC Reviews

Kid’s Safety With George Blessure Review

Official Score

Overall - 20%

20%

Kid’s Safety With George Blessure had the bare minimum of effort put into its design. Its incredibly short runtime is already far too long for what it sets out to do.

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Edutainment games are an absolute rarity in this day and age, as are FMV titles. Never fear though – both genres have gotten a new lease on life with Bmc Studios’ Kid’s Safety With George Blessure. Unfortunately, this title is a showcase of the absolute worst these games have to offer.

Kid’s Safety With George Blessure Review

Start this title up, and one would think that this game will provide a fun experience suitable for the whole family. George Blessure is a police puppet inhabiting a crayon world, and wants to teach kids the importance of recycling, sunscreen, and other insightful facts. The choices people can choose from are pretty straightforward, and everything seems squeaky clean.

However, the true nature of this game soon comes to light. The moment he mentions that his dad died from cancer or calls the audience unsightly names is the moment you realize that this is an immature title. In addition, it is never a good idea to insult the audience that purchased your title in the first place.

Profanity and explicit content has its place if done correctly – the Broadway musical Avenue Q is a hit for a reason – but the delivery here is performed without any semblance of tact or structure. The plot generally devolves into this character handing the player a gun and being deemed a pedophile, without any context or reasoning behind it all. We are far from prudes, but simply using offensive language without any humor to back it up comes across as tasteless.

Along the way, the choices players make will determine how the title progresses. Simple facts require simple answers, and those who ironically chose the wrong option will be brought back to the choice screen until one chooses the other option that is available. There’s almost no gameplay to speak of – other than these choices, there’s nothing interactive to be found here. One could have just as easily had the same experience with a DVD menu.

However, none of this matters in the long run, as the title can be completed in a scant 10 minutes. We took our sweet time, but we were still finished with everything in the time it takes to watch less than half of a sitcom. There are no achievements or anything else to speak of either.

To add insult to injury, the game takes jabs at your patience as things progress. A pop up window to subscribe to the YouTube creator “nateislame” is unavoidable, and the credit scene with a dabbing puppet goes for far too long. Those hoping to get away from it all will not be able to do so without a fight, as there is no easy option to quit and the classic Alt+F4 salute does not work on the first go-around.

Kid’s Safety With George Blessure had the bare minimum of effort put into its design. Its incredibly short runtime is already far too long for what it sets out to do.

This review of Kid’s Safety With George Blessure was done on the PC. The game was purchased digitally.
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Casey Scheld

Casey Scheld has more than 15 years of experience in the gaming industry as a community manager, social media director, event specialist, and (of course) gaming editor. He has previously worked with gaming start-ups like Raptr, publishers like Konami, and roller derby girls at PAX West (check out Jam City Rollergirls)! Gamers Heroes is a passion project for him, giving him a chance to tap into the underground side of gaming. He is all too eager to give these lesser-known heroes of the indie space the attention they so rightly deserve, seeking out the next gem and sharing it with the world. Previously making appearances at events like CES, GDC, and (the late) E3, he is all too happy to seek out the next big thing. For those that want to talk shop, send over a tip, or get an easy win in a fighting game of their choosing, be sure to check out his social media channels below.

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